What Not to Name Your Baby

I'm fully aware of the perils of naming a baby. I've named three of my own, not counting the ones I got to christen as a medical student on the obstetrics ward.

So I find it hard to fault the parents when I meet a pediatric patient with a medically inappropriate name. No one would name their daughter Melena knowing it meant black, tarry stool, would they?

Given that there's a physician on Grey's Anatomy named Addison, you wouldn't guess that Addison's disease is failure of the adrenal glands.

I've met both boys and girls named Tanner; appropriate, considering there are male and female Tanner stages of pubertal development.

Brady reminds me of a bradycardia, and Cody is asking for a Code Blue. Cole is for colon, Ava is for ova, Luke is for liver fluke, Iris is eye anatomy, and Lance is what you do to a boil.

You could consider running your name options by your physician, although I can medically bastardize most names. I can't even drive behind a Toyota Previa without wondering if it's marginal, partial, or complete.

And even if I approve your choice, that doesn't mean there won't be an incredulous silence when you call your engineering friends to announce the new arrival.